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Dr Love’s top 15 ass-eating tips

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Dr Love

Dr Love

Dr Love is an expert on sexual health and well-being, and believes everyone can have a healthy and fulfilling sex-positive life. Have questions? Send them to askdrlove@asia.gay.

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Everyone has a butt. This means everyone, regardless of gender, can receive a world-class rim job. I love getting my ass eaten and will gladly bend over for anyone. But I don’t rim just anyone. I save my rim jobs for the guys I like the most — the sexy, special men I want to please. We hold so much shame about our bodies and our butts that getting to that special place where you trust someone with your hole is awesome and intense — and a great bit of foreplay for other forms of anal sex.

If you want to give your partner some butt love, this is for you. Here are my top 15 ass-eating tips you need to know.

1. You have to love butts.

You need to love butts — or, more specifically, your special person’s butt.

2. Rimming is not just about using the tongue.

Aggressive rimmers will go straight for the hole and just lick continuously in the same motion over and over, gradually pushing the tongue deeper and deeper in. While this can feel good, it gets boring after a while and can actually start to wear on the hole. Saliva dries out your skin, and the hole is the last place you want to dry out, especially if rimming is foreplay for sex.

Here’s what you can try: Divide your tongue duty between the hole and the hypersensitive area around it. Make designs and patterns (stars, zigzags, spirals, concentric rings, horizontal licks, vertical licks, quick dots, long strokes, etc.). Tickle the hole with just the tip of your tongue, then thrust your tongue in as deep as it can go. Alternate between the wider, flat part of your tongue and the narrower, probing tip. Do quick, light licks between deep, strong, drawn-out ones. 

3. Eat clean (I mean eat the douched butts.)

Washing the outside of your butt is imperative. Even if you and your partner are fine with your butt being more natural (not douched), washing the outside makes the whole experience better. At the very least, hop in the shower beforehand and do a once-over with soap.

3. Sit back and relax.

Don’t start rimming as soon as you’re finished douching. It’s wise to wait. Water may be trapped up there, and once you’re lying down on your back or stomach, it may come out. That’s why many people lie on their left sides: to release trapped douche water. You don’t want to do that accidentally when his mouth is on your hole.

4. Eat clean, I mean diet is really everything.

What most people agree upon is that diet is really everything. Lean meats (not red meat), veggies, sweet fruits, and foods that don’t cause gas (cabbage, onions, broccoli) will make your hole smell and taste better, and fibrous foods will make your cleaning process quicker. Using the bathroom is your body’s natural way of cleaning out, and it’s the best way. Fiber compacts your poo and helps you release everything in your colon when you sit on the toilet. Taking a healthy amount of fiber does the douching job for you.

5. Not everyone craves a cleaned butt before rimming. It’s always OK to ask.

There are many, many guys out there who love the taste and smell of natural, undouched, aromatic ass and would rather bend you over when you’re sweaty after the gym and go to town, and simply rinse his mouth out with Listerine after. And if you ever have the pleasure of dating someone who enjoys (and prefers) dirty butts, congrats — you never have to worry about douching again.

6. Daily fibre supplements help.

If you don’t consume enough fibrous foods, you can always take a fibre supplement. I take Metamucil every day. Fibre is incredibly good (and necessary) for healthy digestion — and having a clean ass is entirely dependent on your digestive health. If you’re prone to stomachaches, loose, watery poo, or infrequent bowel movements, or if you have a hard time getting totally clean for sex, you probably aren’t consuming enough fiber daily. Most men don’t.

7. Your breath is just as important as your tongue. Use it.

Don’t underestimate the effect of breath on skin. If you’ve ever spooned someone in bed, you know how someone’s breath can feel on your neck. It can tickle or comfort, arouse or annoy, depending on your sensitivity. Breath is vital to a good rimjob. Making a small “o” with your lips and blowing on an asshole (as you would a birthday candle) can make your partner moan. This is usually a cooler breath. Alternately, as when you breathe on someone’s neck, an open-mouthed gush of warm breath will moisten the hole and add a tingling feeling of expectation — making them ready for your tongue plunge. Pause, draw it out, and dive.

8. Give his taint some love and don’t forget other stuff down there.

If you’re rimming a man, don’t forget the space around the butt — including the taint (the space between his anus and testicles). It’s an extremely sensitive area and feels amazing licked. Ass play is about more than the hole. There’s all sorts of hypersensitive anatomy everyone has below the belt. If they’re comfortable with you exploring more with your mouth, give them rimming breaks by straying beyond the butt.

9. Some men love it shaved.

Shaving can keep you from getting butt hair in your teeth when rimming (yes, that really happens). It also can be incredibly hot to do for/with someone. I enjoy all kinds of ass play, so in order to have a clear view and avoid ingrown hairs caused by friction and accidental hair-pulling, I generally recommend shaving a butt if you want to play in it on a regular basis. The best way to shave your hole and butt is to get someone else to do it for you, of course. Go slow, use a gentle shaving cream or gel, and try not to squirm or giggle too much — nicks down there are a pain in the ass.

10. Know the health risks.

If you’re getting rimmed, you’re pretty safe. Sit back and enjoy. If you’re an ass eater, your risks are greater for contracting gonorrhea, hepatitis A, harmful amoebas, herpes, syphilis (if there’s an open sore), pinkeye, and other little gifts. Even cleaned and prepped asses can still carry these gifts, and STDs are not exclusive to rimming. Most sexual contact has the potential to transmit unwanted infections. Professionals would recommend the use of dental dams, but I have never used one and never plan to. Do what you do and accept the responsibility of getting frequent sexually transmitted infection tests. Men who have sex with men should get tested a minimum of every three months for HIV and other STIs.

11. Use teeth a little bit. Maybe bite a little bit – if he likes it.

Some really good rimmers know how to use teeth (don’t suck in when your teeth are pressed on his hole). If he uses teeth and it feels good, consider this a pro move. I’ve had bad rim jobs where guys used teeth and it felt very unpleasant. Paired with the tongue, teeth can be a nice alternating feeling, a bit of hardness on a hypersensitive, soft, tender area. But by no means bite, nibble, suck, chew, or get aggressive with teeth. Ever.

12. Use your scruff.

Some people love feeling stubble on their holes (I do!) — but some don’t. This is a personal preference. Best way to find out if he likes it? Try it and ask. Beard and stubble can tickle and create a pleasant texture on their hole, but it can also scratch and irritate it. It all depends on your partner.

13. Don’t bite (too hard.)

Some guys like biting a butt cheek. Gentle, light nibbles on an ass cheek are fine — but the hole? Keep teeth away. The anus has very delicate skin that can easily tear. For the same reason that fisting tops should always trim fingernails and toys should only be soft and smooth, you should never, never bite the skin down there.

14. Yes, spelling out words with your tongue is a classic trick — and feels great.

Don’t believe me? Try it. This classic trick keeps your tongue moving in different directions instead of making the same repetitive motion.

15. Be loud, we love your “feedback”.

Rimming is one of the few sex acts where you need some verbal or physical reassurance from the receptive person that if feels good. Just a moan — or a little butt shake — tells your partner you’re having a good time. I get very loud when I feel good. Groan, let go, and moan into the pillow. That’s your partner’s invitation to keep going.

Have fun!

Have a question about sex for Dr Love? Email him at ask.dr.love@asia.gay

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