Spill the Tea, Not the Pee: A Man’s Guide to Urinary Incontinence

22 Apr 2025

Spill the Tea, Not the Pee: The Gay Man’s Guide to Urinary Incontinence

Let’s be real — no one wants to talk about bladder leaks. It’s not exactly the topic you bring up over cocktails at drag brunch or on date three with a guy you really like. But maybe it should be — because if you’ve ever had an oops moment on the way to the bathroom, or clenched harder than usual during a workout, guess what? You’re not alone. And no, it’s not just "a straight old man thing."

Urinary incontinence happens. And yes — it happens to us too. But don’t worry, queen — we’re not here to shame. We’re here to slay the stigma and show your pelvic floor some love.

First, What the Heck Is Urinary Incontinence?

It’s when your bladder leaks urine when it’s not supposed to. And no, it’s not because you’re gross, lazy, or broken — it’s usually a combo of muscles, nerves, pressure, or other health issues not playing nice.

Let’s break down the types of leaks so you know what’s what:

Stress Incontinence
Laugh, lift, sneeze, squat — and suddenly there’s a drip. Blame it on pelvic floor weakness.
Urge Incontinence
That gotta go right now or it’s happening feeling. You didn’t plan on running, but here you are.
Mixed Incontinence
A lovely little cocktail of both stress + urge. Yay.
Overflow Incontinence
When your bladder doesn’t empty properly, and it just… keeps slowly leaking.

But Wait — What Does This Have to Do With Gay Men?

A lot, actually. Here’s why we should be having this conversation:

Bottoming & Pelvic Health: Your pelvic floor is literally your base. If it's weak, overworked, or not coordinated? You’ll feel it — in your bladder and your sex life.
Prostate Exams & Health Issues: If you've had any prostate issues, surgeries, or even pelvic trauma, incontinence can be a side effect.
Anxiety + Overthinking: Yes, sis. That overactive mind can lead to an overactive bladder. Stress plays a sneaky role here.
HIV Medications or Hormones: Certain meds (like diuretics or even testosterone therapy) can affect bladder function.
Gym Life: That deadlift PR might be great for your glutes but not your bladder if your pelvic floor isn’t strong.

Let’s Talk Solutions (Because You Deserve Better Than Sneaky Drips)

You're not doomed to a lifetime of crossing your legs every time you sneeze. Here’s what can help:

Kegels — For Men, Too
That’s right — tighten, hold, release. These exercises build up your pelvic floor strength. Bonus? They also improve erections and orgasm control. Win-win.
Bladder Training
Sounds silly, but teaching your bladder when to go and when to chill actually works.
Modern Incontinence Products
Today’s pads and briefs are sleek, absorbent, and not giving adult diaper vibes. And yes, there are even sexy undies with built-in leak protection.
Watch the Triggers
Caffeine, alcohol, spicy food — all your favorites, we know. But cutting back can really help reduce urgency.
Medical Help
Pelvic floor physical therapists are miracle workers. Urologists can rule out underlying issues. And yes, treatments exist — from meds to minimally invasive procedures.

Real Talk: Ignoring It Doesn’t Make It Go Away

Let’s not fall into the “I’ll just deal with it” trap. The gay community has already broken barriers around mental health, HIV, and sexual wellness — so why stay silent about this?

Confidence isn’t pretending everything’s fine. It’s knowing your body and owning your health.

Let’s Wrap This Up (Not Your Mattress, Hopefully)

Urinary incontinence isn’t your fault — but how you deal with it? That’s all you, boo. You deserve to feel sexy, confident, and in control. Whether you're on a first date, at the gym, or enjoying a bottomless mimosa situation — you’ve got options, and you’re definitely not alone.